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nothing was the same.

i have a lot of thoughts about a lot of things. situations i’ve been in, people i’ve known, the mountains of feelings i’ve left unsaid… there is so much i want to say, apologize for or justify and not apologize for. i want to publicly talk about things i’ve been harboring so i can cut the anchor on my writer’s block and finally be free. 

i’m not going to, though. at least, not now. not for a while. not when i still wake up some mornings and wonder will my entire day be ruined if i accidentally dwell on an old conversation or past relationship. it can still be too much sometimes. 

but. i did find this. 

arden cho, known for playing kira on teen wolf, posted this on her blog the other day and she says so much of how i feel. about myself and about people who are or have been in my life. so for now, i’ll leave it at that.

p.s. i now know every word to pretty much every song on drake’s nothing was the same album 👌🏽

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5.

  • at a snail’s pace, i’ve been filling up my moleskin but it’s the only story that’s held my attention for this long. the muse is pretty loud.
  • when you have to distance yourself from something you actually really like to the point that your pavlovian response is abivalence or even negative and you have to be like “whoa, no, you don’t think [the thing] is gross.” yeah.
  • i’ve forgotten how to pack to fly. i’m generally a driver – i-95 is kind of home – or i take amtrak. but 25 is special and i’m confused about this whole deal with lotion and how much i can or cannot have in my suitcase.
  • oh my. that means i’m almost old enough to rent a car. dunno why that’s exciting to me. but it is!
  • “double bubble disco queen / headed to the guillotine
    skin as cool as steve mcqueen / let me be your killer king”
    – victorious | panic! at the disco x.