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the first week.

i’ve been home for four days. i’m sorry, i should mention i was in another state for a week. okay, one more thing, i met my twenty-sixth year while watching the first 48 on my aunt’s couch.

to say it’s been a weird month is an understatement. it’s been a weird goddamn year and you couldn’t pay me to relive it if everything remained exactly the same. so i won’t rehash the good, the bad, or the dirty of being 25 in 2016. 

not worth it. 

let’s just agree there are things i don’t talk about. some things i never have, some i’ve never known or known how to. if my recent online presence is any indication, i don’t talk at all anymore. this previous election cycle had me realizing i don’t have to supply my voice to every fucking conversion because if i did, i’d never stop talking. 

i’ve enjoyed not talking. 

i like not being anxious and paranoid 25/8. i like knowing the elephant in the corner now is really a mouse in the big scheme of things. i like taking care of myself because i’ve always been the only one to do so. i like not engaging every single thing just because it’s there. 

i can, but should i? do i even want to?

that’s selfish. fact, not an opinion. i’ve taken an extended amount of time to myself. a mental health day has become a mental health trimester, which i intend to carry to term. if i don’t now i never will. and considering me and my family history, who knows how long that’d last me if i didn’t…

it’s a hard pill to swallow, but i’m no good to anyone else if i’m not to me first. and i quite like me. 

1 thought on “the first week.”

  1. i think it’s quite admiral that you’re taking a social media break. i know i couldn’t because i constantly feel like i have something to say, but like you said — it’s not always important to voice your opinion on something. i think that’s something i’ve learned as well as the years have gone by. i hope your mental health trimester is going well~ what better time to figure yourself out than your 20s!

    Like

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